I have done amazing things that no one thought I should be able to do, but I am quite sure that at the age of 31, my accomplishments shouldn't end at two 150 mile charity bike rides, one child, and a stable home life. Especially since I am the breadwinner of our household. I know this job is good, provides for us well, but it isn't where my passion lies and I'm afraid that it shows in a bad way when I'm trying to remember simple policy and can remember more about the warning signs of a placental abruption or signs of mental illness than check handling or ATM balancing procedures. I'm simply not performing at my absolute best even when I'm focused at (the mathematically improbable) 110% and I hate that. I hate that I can't remember the little things at work, but can remember the details of cadaver class a decade ago.
The thing is, when I started at Kansas State main campus in 2000, I was going as a pre-nursing major with intent to transfer out to Baker or KU or another great nursing school after pre-requisites were met. I busted my buns through many neurotic episodes and WAS accepted to Baker, but couldn't fathom paying so much for schooling and decided to stay a wildcat while finishing up my psychology degree. It seemed a better fit for where I was in life anyway. But now I feel pulled toward nursing again. So, I have to put a plan in motion and sort through my list of five/ten year goals to see what is more important to me in order to make this happen. It would improve our financial outlook here on the homefront, it would take me out of the cubefarm and back out in the community, and open some doors for us.
Here's the sticky part- I know every day when I wake up that there is a good job with great co-workers waiting for me Monday through Friday. They understand the craziness and accept me as I am. I'm comfortable here. If I were to continue on for the next ten years in the same spot, I could likely sit at the same desk with the same people and do relatively the same thing every day as long as technology and time didn't replace me. I like that, but I also like the idea that I could make someone's healthcare experience better.
So. I am checking into schools, trying to find one that will see my college transcript, accept that I have already paid my dues with expository writing, speech making, and math. Also trying to find as many scholarship opportunities as I can to avoid creating a bigger mountain of debt.
I'm also trying to decide at the same time whether E will have a sibling or not. I desperately want him to know the joys and challenges of having a sibling, but I'm 31. I'm not getting younger. I can neither wait forever to have another child nor to start school again... on top of all the other complications in my life (like not being able to find reliable kid care help, and a husband who has been in a new level of pain/dysfunction/incapacitation for an unprecedented 45 days. I'm already at my breaking point, and yet I want to cram more education into the mix.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Parenting on a budget.
I am a bargain hunter. By nature, I don't frown upon second, third, and fourth-hand stuff as long as it isn't contaminated with anything icky, is still in good shape, and hasn't been recalled. Goodwill is my favorite store for my own clothes, though I do love some thriftshops I've found online. Ooh, and Craigslist. Craigslist is my friend when I need something.
Here are some of the corners I cut with my first/only kiddo. Hopefully it'll help someone down the line.
Pre-baby: Maternity clothes are god-awful expensive for the short time you need them. Go to Craving Style for good, cheap, new-ish clothes and help some mamas out while looking awesome with your belly. Also check out goodwill's maternity section. Or yardsales, craigslist, and the like.
Basics-necessities:
Diapers. I prefer cloth. My first set lasted 18-ish months, then I put them in, covers and all, in my parents' washer on too hot a setting, de-laminated all the covers... leaky hell. Had to replace them. My first set was from softbums. I had twelve covers and I don't know how many inserts... lots. LOVED THEM!! I spent around $300 for that lot and for the first year they only added maybe two extra loads of laundry a week on a bad week. Extremely daddy and caretaker friendly, low-maintenance cloth diaper.
Unfortunately, they died... and I didn't have $300. So, I discovered Sun Baby diapers. Price-wise, far more reasonable- I now have 24 covers and loads of inserts, plus I can still use my old inserts from the Softbums diapers in them, and I've sunk less than $150 into it. Considering that my son has been in diapers now for 24 months (though he's mostly in undies now), I reckon it has saved us a good $2000 or better... plus, it has saved us from emergency 'OMG that's the last diaper, and he's wearing it!' runs at all hours.
Homemade wipes are pretty simple- buy a stack or two of soft, inexpensive wash cloths. Use warm water or make your own wipe solution, just pack in a ziplock bag for trips out of the house. Or you could be crafty and cut some out of flannel, but that can be a pain sometimes, depending on your sewing machine.
Clothes. Go to yard sales, talk to friends who've had babies when yours is due or who have kids who are similar in size for the season, they don't stay that size for long, so it doesn't make sense to buy brand new until later on when their sizes are harder to find on the secondhand market. Also, If you're expecting and your family is super excited to buy clothes for your kid, don't be afraid to tell them you're full-up on newborn goods, and to please start shopping for the next sizes up.
Toys. Newborns through about four or so months really don't need toys. I felt like a crappy mom at first because I didn't have toys laying around when Munchie arrived, but then I realized that I was one of the coolest toys ever invented... at least until he figured out how to roll around and grab things. Then a handheld mirror was pretty cool for awhile, as was one of my old silky nighties tied in a knot. Kids don't need flash and glitter. They'll play with the box if you buy them lots of toys right off the bat.
Bedding. Believe it or not, newborns don't care about their surroundings nearly as much as their adults do. I did the stupid first-timer thing and bought a (discounted, clearance) crib bedding set to coordinate with the freshly painted baby room and the lovely secondhand crib I bought. (before dropside cribs were outlawed)
Personally, for our family, we follow Dr. McKenna's safe bed-sharing rules and the crib was never used for much beyond holding laundry and temporary kid parking while putting away laundry. Your family dynamics might be different, but just the same, you coooooould buy that shiny new crib at your store of choice, or you could look at Craigslist and the yardsale circuit. Our crib was $100, used. Brand new it would have gone for nearly $300. :-)
Food. In the beginning, there's the breast. I know not everyone can or wants to breastfeed, but if you are physically able, it will save you loads! My son is sensitive to dairy (apparently a family trait that I passed to him), so we'd have had to have a dairy-free formula if we had not gone the breast route. There would have also been the cost of trial and error, trying to find one that worked for him. Some cans would have been wasted. Instead, I cancelled dairy from my diet and found substitutes, and pumped and dumped during times that I knew I'd have dairy. Two years, and still going strong!
Baby food really isn't a necessity. If you wait until baby starts to show interest in food, you can actually just mash up the food you're eating and see how it goes. If your family has a history of food allergies, try one food at a time (one a day, wait for a reaction), and save the expensive jarred stuff for occasions when you're out of the house. Also, those jars are waaaaaaay too big for a kid to have a balanced meal. One jar is about the capacity of the baby's belly... so you would really need to take a portion out of several jars to let your kid have the same sort of meal you're having with a meat, a vegetable, a fruit, etc. That adds to the cost!
Little guy is only two, and we're still finding ways to save as we go. Here's to a future of not spending $200,000 from birth to 18 years!
Here are some of the corners I cut with my first/only kiddo. Hopefully it'll help someone down the line.
Pre-baby: Maternity clothes are god-awful expensive for the short time you need them. Go to Craving Style for good, cheap, new-ish clothes and help some mamas out while looking awesome with your belly. Also check out goodwill's maternity section. Or yardsales, craigslist, and the like.
Basics-necessities:
Diapers. I prefer cloth. My first set lasted 18-ish months, then I put them in, covers and all, in my parents' washer on too hot a setting, de-laminated all the covers... leaky hell. Had to replace them. My first set was from softbums. I had twelve covers and I don't know how many inserts... lots. LOVED THEM!! I spent around $300 for that lot and for the first year they only added maybe two extra loads of laundry a week on a bad week. Extremely daddy and caretaker friendly, low-maintenance cloth diaper.
Unfortunately, they died... and I didn't have $300. So, I discovered Sun Baby diapers. Price-wise, far more reasonable- I now have 24 covers and loads of inserts, plus I can still use my old inserts from the Softbums diapers in them, and I've sunk less than $150 into it. Considering that my son has been in diapers now for 24 months (though he's mostly in undies now), I reckon it has saved us a good $2000 or better... plus, it has saved us from emergency 'OMG that's the last diaper, and he's wearing it!' runs at all hours.
Homemade wipes are pretty simple- buy a stack or two of soft, inexpensive wash cloths. Use warm water or make your own wipe solution, just pack in a ziplock bag for trips out of the house. Or you could be crafty and cut some out of flannel, but that can be a pain sometimes, depending on your sewing machine.
Clothes. Go to yard sales, talk to friends who've had babies when yours is due or who have kids who are similar in size for the season, they don't stay that size for long, so it doesn't make sense to buy brand new until later on when their sizes are harder to find on the secondhand market. Also, If you're expecting and your family is super excited to buy clothes for your kid, don't be afraid to tell them you're full-up on newborn goods, and to please start shopping for the next sizes up.
Toys. Newborns through about four or so months really don't need toys. I felt like a crappy mom at first because I didn't have toys laying around when Munchie arrived, but then I realized that I was one of the coolest toys ever invented... at least until he figured out how to roll around and grab things. Then a handheld mirror was pretty cool for awhile, as was one of my old silky nighties tied in a knot. Kids don't need flash and glitter. They'll play with the box if you buy them lots of toys right off the bat.
Bedding. Believe it or not, newborns don't care about their surroundings nearly as much as their adults do. I did the stupid first-timer thing and bought a (discounted, clearance) crib bedding set to coordinate with the freshly painted baby room and the lovely secondhand crib I bought. (before dropside cribs were outlawed)
Personally, for our family, we follow Dr. McKenna's safe bed-sharing rules and the crib was never used for much beyond holding laundry and temporary kid parking while putting away laundry. Your family dynamics might be different, but just the same, you coooooould buy that shiny new crib at your store of choice, or you could look at Craigslist and the yardsale circuit. Our crib was $100, used. Brand new it would have gone for nearly $300. :-)
Food. In the beginning, there's the breast. I know not everyone can or wants to breastfeed, but if you are physically able, it will save you loads! My son is sensitive to dairy (apparently a family trait that I passed to him), so we'd have had to have a dairy-free formula if we had not gone the breast route. There would have also been the cost of trial and error, trying to find one that worked for him. Some cans would have been wasted. Instead, I cancelled dairy from my diet and found substitutes, and pumped and dumped during times that I knew I'd have dairy. Two years, and still going strong!
Baby food really isn't a necessity. If you wait until baby starts to show interest in food, you can actually just mash up the food you're eating and see how it goes. If your family has a history of food allergies, try one food at a time (one a day, wait for a reaction), and save the expensive jarred stuff for occasions when you're out of the house. Also, those jars are waaaaaaay too big for a kid to have a balanced meal. One jar is about the capacity of the baby's belly... so you would really need to take a portion out of several jars to let your kid have the same sort of meal you're having with a meat, a vegetable, a fruit, etc. That adds to the cost!
Little guy is only two, and we're still finding ways to save as we go. Here's to a future of not spending $200,000 from birth to 18 years!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)