Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Month twelve.

So, a year ago right now, I was laying in my bed staring at this marvelous lump of love and warm named Elijah.  Still fresh and new with tiny flecks of vernix and pruny hands and feet, covered in that new baby smell.  He was only a few hours old and the earthside journey had just begun for us.  In our house.  How incredibly awesome to have had that choice available to us.  I know I might not have had that choice anywhere else I've lived, nor would it have been as supported as it is here.  Oddly, my little corner of Indiana has some awesome midwives, doulas, and birth advocates.  So, there I was, cuddled up with my son and husband in our bed, so in love with the two of them and knowing we were as close to heaven as we humans get in this life.

After the intensity and speed of labor, I should have been exhausted, but after waiting so long to meet this wonderful boy I couldn't sleep.  I lay awake watching him so peacefully asleep between us on the bed knowing that what lay ahead of us was a great adventure.  About this time a year ago, my wonderful midwife and her lovely assistant were just packing up and leaving after having assessed us, starting a load of laundry, and having helped empty out our birth pool and some straightening.  My new life began at 6:30 PM when he entered the world, but it was official once the door locked behind my midwife and it was just Barry and Elijah and I.

We've now made one full trip around the sun as a family.  In that year we've watched a boy blossom from a sleepy, blinking newborn with that wonderful look of awe and confusion to a rambunctious and inquisitive toddler.  We've watched him change and we've watched him change us.  We've begun to see the world as he sees it.  Every experience is new, every occurrence is exciting.  We sat with him through his first thunderstorms, first sunrises and sunsets, first full moons, first spring, summer, fall and winter.  We've watched him explore grass, dirt, sand, fallen leaves, plastic tarps, concrete, rocks, and snow for the first time as though it was our first time as well.  He delights in these mysteries the world has to offer us, so we find delight in them too.  We've sat up with him through night terrors and teething, odd sleep-wake cycles, and reverse cycle nursing.  We've had so many firsts.  I've documented many of them here.  I love how he's changed us.

What is the boy up to now?  He now has eight and a half teeth, is a little over 31" tall, is somewhere around 24 lbs, is strong as an ox, has the stealth of a herd of elephants, and loves to ambush the cat every chance he gets.  He is the embodiment of love and joy and curiosity.  His life very much reflects his birth in the uncomplicated, intense, and fast-forward way he approaches everything at this point.  His favorite playthings are his new toy trucks and cars, wooden blocks, tractor, and a stuffed horse named Pferd.  He also likes to empty my plastics cabinet in the kitchen all over the floor while playing with all of those things listed above.  I plan to get him a toy kitchen in a couple months when we can afford it... something along the lines of http://www.littletikes.com/toys/super-chef-kitchen.aspx, because he enjoys his time in the kitchen with his mom and dad.  He may ransack the cabinet, but he also helps us put away the next day's lunches and his next-day mama milk.  

While he plunges forth into the world in just about everything, he's not 100% fearless.  He's afraid of the vacuum, the blender, the lawnmower, the big mixer, and the cordless drill.  Correction... he's afraid of the sounds they make.  He doesn't mind pushing any of these things around, but turn them on and he has a meltdown.

Our first year as parents has been amazing.  Non-traditional, but amazing.  Barry's got SAHD-hood down to a fine art, even if he's not fully up on what the home-parent's job description is some days.  I'm finding more balance as the WOHM.  (that's stay-at-home-dad and work-out of-home-mom for those on the outside of the terminology)  We're so incredibly lucky to have the kind of family life that allows us to not send our son to daycare.  I still would just about give a limb to trade him places, but our life is working so far.

I know that in the grand scheme of things, it's no big thing that Elijah's a year old.  Babies are born every day.  Parents are made every day.  There are birthdays and milestones every day.  Everyone's experiencing a first and everyone's experiencing a last somewhere in the world.  Maybe my fascination with the whole process is part of the culture I am living in, or perhaps it's the long path we took to become parents.  In any case I pray that the conscious decisions we've made in this first year have lain a sturdy foundation upon which to build the next eighteen years or so and carry him forward with a sense of strength, leadership, and make him a contributing member of society.  I have big hopes for him already even though he's just a toddler.  He seems game for whatever the world brings him.

Onward to year two, and all the adventures within.  

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