If I had it to do over...

I've been thinking about Elijah's birth a whole lot lately.  I've been going over the things I can remember clearly, and as awesome as it was, there are things I'd do differently.

For starters, I'd have held onto E from the moment he was placed on my chest until the moment the placenta slopped its way out.  Unfortunately, I had to get out of the tub a little before the cord stopped pulsing because it was too painful to continue sitting on my too-sore tailbone any longer, and laying on the bed sounded heavenly, but that was about a fifteen foot walk from tub to bed (different rooms).  We went ahead and cut the cord, E was handed off to my husband, and husband held the boy for the next half hour or so while he called grandparents and aunts and uncles to let them know what we did that day.  It was hard to lay there and watch him carry our boy around, though it was a good time to go ahead and do assessments, get that shock of how much he really weighed, and all that mess... it's the idea that after carrying him inside me for so long we were separated, even if I could see him.

I'd have banned all visitors for the first week after the birth.  The minute people heard that E had arrived earthside we were inundated with requests to come visit.  That meant I had to either wear clothes and make my way down the stairs to first floor, or surrender my beautiful baby to my husband to carry downstairs away from my little nest in the bed to the living room below us.  Wearing clothes was not an appealing idea.  Hobbling down the stairs was not an appealing idea.  Handing over my son to someplace I couldn't see him when all I wanted to do was see him, can you see where this is going?  I ended up going downstairs for one group, and handed over the boy for another group.

I would have made it a requirement for all visitors to either bring food or help with the housework that I hadn't gotten to in my final bit of nesting the day or two before E was born.  See, I had a fantastic, high energy day in which I'd finished and put away all laundry, done all floors and bathrooms, and had completely tuckered out by the time I got to the kitchen.  I had a mountain of dishes left the night before, and was *planning* to do them on that Monday after work.  My husband had some errands to run that morning, so he didn't get to it.  I had a different sort of work to do, so I didn't get to it.  One friend brought three meals, and another friend did dishes for us.  That is two visitors out of ten.  I am forever grateful to those two women, because strong as I am, there wasn't enough of me to take care of those things, and my husband was still recovering from surgery.  I made him go get unhealthy junk because I had a pantry full of ingredients, and neither of us slept much the first week.  I guess I could probably have planned ahead and made frozen meals, but the food budget was tight as was my time and energy.

I would have had my birth area more prepared than it was so my husband didn't have to run like a gerbil on meth to get things unpacked.  I also would have put more air in the walls of the birth pool like a very wise woman suggested, but I didn't realize just how firm I'd need the sides to be.  I would have just had the laptop sitting in the birth room, ready to push play and plugged in.  When the computer battery died early in labor, B stashed it safely out of harm's way in the bedroom on a shelf, so I had no music to relax to (not like relaxation was really an option as fast as things progressed) and I think I would have enjoyed that in the quieter moments.

I guess I think about these sort of things because even as awesome as our experience was, and that there's still no way I'd have considered another place on the planet than home for this, I want to think of how to make it better if we do it again.  Maybe this can help someone else have an awesome experience!